Naruto: Jerry Springer Style
by Beautiful Little Liar
Summary: Hugs x hearts: I’m MITSUKI! MMMITSUKI! BIZOTCHES. A lot of cussing is involved so you’re being warned. It’s basically a…um…well…I don’t know what the hell it is. Just read it. Xx it’s funny! That’s all that matters!


Hugs x hearts: I'm MITSUKI!! M-M-MITSUKI! BIZOTCHES. A lot of cussing is involved so you're being warned. It's basically a…um…well…I don't know what the hell it is. Just read it. X-x;; it's funny! That's all that matters!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto characters…BUT I OWN THEM IN THIS STORY! SO I CAN MAKE THEM LOOK AS GAY AS I WANT! MWAHAHAHAHAHA

_A freaky freaky version of Jerry Springer, freakier than normal- HOSTED BY M-M-MITSUKI FUYUTSUKI!!!_

Mitsuki Fuyutsuki: Yo! Jerry is out of the show -air quote- sick -air quote-

Jerry tied up in the back mumbling

Mitsuki: so Yeah!! I'll be hosting this show. Today's show is _sweet, sour, and just _BITTER. Today, we have a slut- I mean a girl named Ino and a fag- I mean a boy named Sasuke. They're dating and another girl who looks like her hair was dipped in strawberry pudding named Sakura!

Ino: -walks onto the stage with a super tight shirt on and a short skirt showing her originally white thong, (which is now BROWN) -and sits in the chair the farthest to the left.-

Sasuke: -walks on after Ino wearing his usual emo costume and sits in the center seat-

Sakura: -walks onto the stage wearing blue jeans and a red shirt with black converse (CONVERSE CREW!!). Sits in the seat farthest to the right.-

Mitsuki: SO! Sakura, we hear you have some problems. _RELATONSHIP_ problems.

ooo and ahh sign flashes

Crowd ooos and ahhs

Sakura: -crosses her hands across her lap politely- that stupid BITCH, Ino, steals my boyfriend, and he steals my FUCKING money. -stands up- YOU FUCKING THEIVES! I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL AND YOUR CHILDREN DIE OF SOME DISEASE THAT INO MUST'VE GOTTEN FROM FUCKING EVERY SINGLE MOVING TIHNG!

Ino: -stands - GET OUTTA MY FACE YOU LITTLE FLAT CHESTED BOAR. Don't hate. Appreciate. You can't handle something like Sasuke in bed. -evil grin-

Sasuke: -sitting in the center scratching the right side of his head with his right hand-

Sakura: OH YEAH? SASUKE'S PENIS IS A FUCKING PENCIL! I COULDN'T EVEN FEEL IT!

Mitsuki: well, Sasuke, while your two little girlfriends are arguing, I must ask you a question. Did you ever notice the back of your hair is kind of like a certain bird's? I don't remember the name, but it definitely looks like a bird.

Sasuke: -eye twitches-

Sakura pulling Ino's hair with Ino on the floor screaming and calling Sakura flat chested

Mitsuki: ah, well, get a new stylist. Let's call out our next guest. Introducing ITACHI UCHIHA.

Itachi walks on stage and stands near Sakura's seat

Sasuke: It's you!!!

Itachi: No, it's the fucking tooth fairy. Who the fuck did you think? Retard. You probably could've beaten me a long time ago, little brother. You're just too fucking stupid to ever manage to even fucking hit me. -rolls his eyes-

Sasuke: SHUT UP. -glares hard as hell-

Mitsuki: -slides a flame background behind Sasuke- oooo!! Actually….-pushes background away and replaces it with a bunch of bunnies in front of a big tree with a large talking bubble saying, "I RAPE CHILDREN!"

Itachi: -eye twitches- Shut up weakling. -reaches over and flicks Sasuke's forehead, then puts him in a sleeper hold-

Sasuke: AH AH -struggles and passes out-

Mitsuki: Nighty night, shut churr ass tight. Well, who knows. Itachi is hot but he never really showed interest in anyone so maybe, just maybe, he luffs his BROTHER!! AHHH!!! -falls over screaming and starts rolling on the ground crying-

Girls in the audience start sobbing "NOOO!! ITACHI CAN'T BE GAY!!"

Single man "YES!! HE'S GAY! ALL THAT MAN CANDY TO MYSELF!"

-Sudden silence-

Mitsuki: what the hell, man? Just…just what the hell?

Sakura: -rips off Ino's Pony tail- YOUR FAKE ASS HAIR! DROP DEAD INO PIGGY! -holds the pony tail up and waves it- OINK OINK FAT ASS!

Men in audience screaming "take it off!"

Ino: -pulls Sakura's top off showing a training bra- FLAT CHESSSSSTEDDDDDDDDDDDD.

Mitsuki: OH MY GOD! IT HAS KITTIES ON IT! LOOK AT ZE KITTIESSSSSS!!

Sakura: -screams and runs off-

Mitsuki: what a wimp…-sigh-

Audience booing

Sakura: -falls through the ceiling and lands on top of Ino and slams her head into the floor- DIE FAT ASS SLUT!! DIE DIE DIE !! -keeps slamming her head down- (A/N: if you haven't seen "People under the stairs" the girl falls on top of her "mother" and slams her head down. Stolen! Must give credit!)

Ino: -gets a concussion and passes out-

Itachi: -looks at Sakura and Ino- wow…Suddenly, I am interested in that weak and pathetic girl.

Sakura: Thanks?

Mitsuki: -somewhat crying while talking- Okay, so it looks like Sakura is gonna end up dating Itachi and… I couldn't be more sadder. I'm gonna miss slobbering over him. -cries hard as hell with about nine girls from the audience- WAHHH!! MY ITACHI BUDDY -hugs Itachi plushie and cries curling up-

-Sakura and Itachi walk away holding hands-

Mitsuki: well folks-

Jerry: -comes up behind Mitsuki and hits her on the back of the head with a golf club so she passes out next to Ino- That's all for today's show. Have a great day.

One man coughs

Crowd stares

_Ze end…for now!_

_Ending Credits for after the show_

Host- Mitsuki- some crazy bitch offa the street who decided to steal the show

Co host- Jerry Springer!

Guests- Sakura Haruno, Itachi Uchiha, emo boy Sasuke Uchiha, and ignorant slut- Ino.

Mitsuki being shoved into an ambulance

-Commercial times-

Naruto: Kakashi sensei! I gotta peeeee -tied to the log-

-second commercial-

-Ino and Mitsuki together with an "I'm a lesbo!" Bubble over their heads and their arms around each other's necks-

_The SECOND end._


End file.
